Of Octopus Paul for "On-off-on" Najib...

The safest way out for Najib now is to engage Oct Paul's service which is far cheaper than APCO and definitely more tropicalised than the "submarine that cannot dive" scorpene. And if Oct Paul fails in his "job" Najib and wife can always arrange for "sotong goreng" dinner in Putrajaya. Then they can both invite Shah Rukh Khan, J Low, VT and the rest of the gang to discuss on FELDA's prudent spendings. Rosie can always invite her favourite carpet cleaner to come along whilst Najib huddled with his sibling on how to "better manage" FELDA. Win-win situation for both Najib and Rosie, right?

Latest : What is happening to our country? For a simple issue like sports betting, the government goes ga-ga in explaining their stand, one time ON then PM announced it's OFF then the same PM in his written reply in parliament indicated that it's ON and then corrected says it's OFF? ON-OFF-ON-OFF! This is more than just a flip-flop, this is incompetence to the highest decree, failing all normal standards of targetted KPIs' and KRAs', achieved by none other than 1MPM6 Najib himself. If he can be so off-tangent in his performance, then what can we expect from his "subordinates"? Like this, my friend will simply say "die-die lor"...

Wanted : Malaysian animal lovers Mission : Secure octopus Paul from Oberhausen aquarium, Germany
Purpose : To act as "con-sultan" for Najib in decision making
Accuracy : 100 % (to date)

Priority : Urgent

Seriously, this is what this writer thinks of Najib's present state of mind. Before we delve further into the matter, remember P94 Hulu Selangor?

Murmurs are coming in of "token of appreciation" tours arranged by UMNO for Batang Kali residents. Amongst others :-

1. One group from Sg Masin of 40 pax spend a weekend in Port Dickson in late June 2010, all expense paid by UMNO;
2. Another group from the same village spend last weekend in Melaka, again sponsored by UMNO;
3. Some say Selangor's N7 assemblyman flag-off 2 busloads plus 5 cars on "jalan-jalan makan angin" trip to Kota Bharu in early July 2010;

This time, it is not little bat that echo its signal but the "terminator" who shared my trip to SJMC last couple of days. Along the way, he makes interesting observations like :-

1. UMNO members are no longer proud in declaring their membership. Instead, these UMNO members are whispering their membership, something to remind them that UMNO is no longer he pride of the nation;
2. This terminator friend declared that his "F" license was "contracted" out to one UMNO youth chief in Batang Kali who reaps contracts after contracts from the government. In return, this terminator friend claimed that he is given 5 % cut for his "F" license. He declared that he had since severed his ties with the UMNO youth chief and decided to go alone in quoting for projects;
3. The "ongoing" field trips sponsored by UMNO is another way for UMNO to woo the voters to stay true to BN. Terminator observed that this strategy is not working as he senses the voters distancing themselves more from UMNO/BN;
4. Although the sponsors claimed that the field trips are meant for the residents of Batang Kali, it is highly suspicious because only Hulu Selangor registered voters are included in the trips. Those not registered or registered elsewhere (eventhough their spouse are registered voter) are not included;

Although P94 Hulu Selangor is a distant past, UMNO and BN is still owing the voters their pledge. One wonders whether BN has fulfilled those by-election pledges to FELDA settlers, the homeless in the estates, the wages of estate workers, jobs for saudara lamas? Or is it possible for UMNO and BN to "conveniently" forget P94 until the next election?


Back to our Octopus Paul. Why Octopus Paul? Octopus Paul is in grave danger of ending up as "goreng sotong" since he correctly predicted the outcome of Spain - Germany semi final match. On top of that, Octopus Paul has correctly predicted the outcome of all Germany's match and it seems that Oct Paul is excellent in "choice of 2 situation". Malaysian animal lovers should make double-quick efforts to secure Oct Paul for Najib as Najib is fast becoming another "choice of 2" decision maker.

Najib as "choice of 2" decision maker? Why not? Remember Najib's written reply in parliament regarding sports betting? What double -talk is Najib in now? First Awang Adek, Finance deputy minister declared sports betting license to Berjaya group, then Najib confirmed that the license was revoked and now the same Najib is leaving the sports betting issue wide open. Can someone confirmed what is going on in Najib's mind? Is Najib listening to MCA because Soiled Leg reminded him that is should be the cabinet's and not UMNO supreme council decision?

Why the "on-off-on" decision? Is Najib working out the funds for a possible snap poll? Is Najib trapped within his own economic reform failures and the necessity for calling snap poll before our economy takes another tumble? Is Najib getting arm-twisted by Berjaya with the many Berjaya investments in Pahang?

So, why Oct Paul? By using Oct Paul to make choices, Najib has the following options :-

1. Blame Oct Paul for choices that is not popular with the rakyats;
2. Absolve the officers from providing "misleading statements" in parliament. Najib can't always blame his officers for his indecisiveness, can he?;
3. Lighten Najib's burden when making choices;
4. Use Oct Paul to predicts outcomes of future elections. If Oct Paul choose PR's molusk, then Najib can always "pour" extra funds in the constituencies to reverse the trend. Those areas where Oct Paul choose BN's molusk, Najib can afford to spare the funds for other purposes;
5. Najib can use Oct Paul as his "scape goat octopus";
6. Oct Paul is much cheaper than Najib's current "1 for the price of 2" scorpene. KD Tunku Abdul Rahman is being docked due to unspecified problems after the tropical water trials conducted in June 2010. Whilst others might be paying 2 subs for the price of 1, are Malaysians paying 1 submarine for the price of 2?;
7. Definitely Oct Paul has better chance of passing the tropical water trials compared to our scorpenes. That, in itself is a better deal to acquire Oct Paul from Oberhausen aquarium;

The list can definitely goes on. Wait...if some of you are claiming that it is syirik to elevate others in the same plane as the One God, then what about those beliefs of Taib Mahmud relying on his beard for "divine" revealation of Sarawak state election? What about Abdullah's Badawi's favourite number 13? Isn't that superstitious too?

Najib and UMNO definitely need to get their acts together. UMNO is losing touch with its own members whilst Najib is forced to be just another "on-off-on" switch. The only difference is UMNO is still independent and not beholden to any known faction (yet), not like Najib who is seen to be "remotely" controlled by Berjaya!

The safest way out for Najib now is to engage Oct Paul's service which is far cheaper than APCO and definitely more tropicalised than the "submarine that cannot dive" scorpene. And if Oct Paul fails in his "job" Najib and wife can always arrange for "sotong goreng" dinner in Putrajaya. Then they can both invite Shah Rukh Khan, J Low, VT and the rest of the gang to discuss on FELDA's prudent spendings. Rosie can always invite her favourite carpet cleaner to come along whilst Najib huddled with his sibling on how to "better manage" FELDA. Win-win situation for both Najib and Rosie, right?

Time is running short for Oct Paul. As his service may no longer be needed after the world cup (if it is still alive), Najib may need to contact Razak Baginda now for his "expertise" to purchase Oct Paul. This time, Razak may need another interpreter to carry out the task as his former "interpreter" is no longer available. Najib may also enlist PI Bala for SD for the authencity of Oct Paul. We don't want a fake Oct Paul determining our future, do we?

By the way, this writer roots for Spain for this coming world cup finals. Any takers?

Till then...G'nite M'sia...wherever u are...