Of Chinese heritage (sort of)...

It all started 70 years ago when a young Chinese mother gave birth to a set of fraternal twins - a boy and a girl. Already straddled with the responsibility to bring up 4 elder children, this couple decided to give up one for adoption. The mother decided to part with her new born baby girl and surrendered the baby girl to a childless elderly Malay couple living in the neighbouring village.

Although they are only a few miles apart, the young girl grew up without knowing her real parents and only after her marriage did she realised that she is adopted. As years goes by, her one and only biological sister did occassionally drop by to see how she's doing and in return she offered coconuts to her elder sister. Their conversations are short with her sister calling her "Alek, alek (sister, sister)" but always turning down offer to enter the house. They have serious language barrier with the sister not conversant in Malay whilst she herself is zip in Cantonese. Finally, they became incommunicado when this adopted women moved to the city.

Two days before Chinese New Year, a phone call changed it all. The elder sister was involved in a hit and run accident and was comatose in GH. Upon receiving the news, the woman rushed to the GH and had a hard time convincing the hospital staffs of her relationship. She did not even know her sister's name apart from calling her "kakak". After hours of convincing, she was finally allowed to visit her bed-ridden sister in ICU briefly and the doctor briefed her that her sister's chance of making through is less than 50 %. She left the GH and make her way back to her eldest son's home in the city.

On Chinese New Year, she received a short message - her sister is dead! Although her heart is aching pay her last respect to her forever gone sister, her sons are too busy with their families and her daughter is almost 600 km away attending a wedding. This daughter decided to represent her mother to pay the last respect and braved the notorious CNY traffic jam, making her way from Kota Bharu in a 7 hour journey.

Upon reaching the town, this daughter tried to locate her aunt's house which she never visited, snaking her car through the close knitted houses and finally reached a small community hall housing the remains. Her tudung caught the attention of those attending the wake. She introduced herself as the daughter of the younger sister of the deceased and the family welcomed her with warm smiles, as most of them are not fluent in Malay whilst this daughter is again zip in Cantonese although her husband attended a few Mandarin classes...

After the normal greetings, this daughter collected all she can about her long-lost relatives who were there to be at the wake and to observed CNY, the only time when they return to this sleepy town. Through gestures and broken Malay, she came to know of the hit and run accident, how the car that knocked her auntie on a straight road took almost 40 feet to stop, that her relatives is seeking for compensation for the loss although they knew that being poor, their version can be easily manipulated by the richer car driver.

The short "family reunion" told her that her uncle, who is her mother's twin, is now in Hong Kong when he was banished there for failing to have his birth certificate. This uncle is now uncontactable... and unreacheable. She came to know that her cousin is now working in Singapore and after two long years of absence return home to celebrate CNY only to find out that his mother is comatose (and now dead).

This daughter stayed for almost an hour, waiting for her cousins to pray and finally she left the wake almost at midnight with promise to maintain their relationship before making her way back to the city, again in the notorious CNY traffic from Ipoh...

Say what you want but take time to understand the hardship of our older generations. How they have to give up their love towards their babies to feed other children. How being close in distance does not mean close at heart. How we failed to communicate even after 53 years of independence.

And this, my friends, is my other's half Chinese heritage. Me? Some say that the lineage can be traced to China, (Yunan to be specific). But that will be another story...at some other time of my choosing.

Moral of the story? Make time to be with your family before they go and meet the Maker. Nothing can replace that close feeling which is only reserved for families. Do make time to visit relatives whilst they are still around... So, if I failed to wish you all a Happy and Prosperous Chinese New Year, now you know why.... but it is not too late to wish you all a Happy and Prosperous Chinese new Year and may the year of the rabbit brings good tidings... now let's prepare for Merlimau...

Till then...G'nite M'sia...wherever u are...